JE 10 An Inability To Listen

I know many wives and mothers who will claim this same afflicion of their husbands and children - an inability to listen.  But honestly, truthfully, 100% I struggle to read and to comprehend.  Unless there is complete silence and no time restraints and no other distractions inside or outside of my mind, I can't read.

Do you know how horrible it is to be an English teacher who can't read?  If I focus all my energy on listening and am able to submerge myself in the words of the story, lecture, directions then I have a good chance at comprehension.

I know this sounds a little bit crazy - okay more than a little bit crazy - but it is true.  I have an language processing disorder.  Somewhere in my brain there is a disconnect.  And no I have not been diagnosed with this disorder - I am not even sure this is what it is called, but I am sure that this is not the way it is for everyone.  That this affliction is unique to me, and maybe a few other lucky fellows.

I detested school.  Any chance there could be a connection here?  My son is in first grade and he is distracted.  A space cadet.  If he is like me he is providing enough entertainment in his own head he doesn't need to tune in to what's going on out there.  And I don't want this for him.  He is a smart, charismatic boy.  I want him to feel this way.  To be this way.

I mention this now because today in class we played the game Speed Dating, where you sit across from a partner and are alloted a few minutes to read their work as they read yours.  You then have a few minutes to respond to their work, they then have a few minutes to respond to your work.  This game for me is nearly impossible. It takes my entire concentration to get to the end of the piece, which I then have to reread to be sure I actually comprehended it.  The timed element of this activity is like TNT.  And then - to make things worse, all at once everyone needs to talk to their partner about the story they just read.  This activity makes me feel as though I am autistic - the cacophany of "I liked it!", and "bwah wah wha wha wah wha" all but paralyzes me and makes me feel stupid.