Tuesday, March 13, 2007

The Key To Life

The Dalai Lama told me (however indirectly) that the key to a fulfilled life is happiness…and from this comes a memory, a memory repeated again and again. (Now I am a superstitious person so probably should not share this but for the sake of relevance, I will – for now, unless I decide otherwise later, in which case you will not be reading this.)

The excitement of the day has come to a peak, voices of the ones I love crack as they half-whisper half-sing, whole-heartedly, “Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to you…” This special, once-a-year moment, has again arrived and it is the time to take that breath to cease the fire that glows just before a birthday wish is granted. The wish so many people believe in; the wish so many say must be kept to one’s self in order to come true. But since I have learned what the Dalai Lama has taught me, I feel I can share my one almost-constant wish. I say almost-constant because from the time I can first remember wishing this wish until now I am almost sure that I wavered and wished for a pony or something of the sort. I take this wish very seriously – doesn’t everybody – a chance for a wish to be granted, your very own genie, and one rub of the lantern? Far more important than New Year’s resolutions, which by nature are made to be broken, more important than thank you notes, though my mother would cringe to hear this be said, even more important whispering into Santa’s ear, though my son would never agree.

First because these are things that are said to someone, maybe promised, thanked, or requested of someone. Whereas a wish, a true birthday wish, is as magical as birth itself. An overwhelming how, or wow, or ahh! Or could it possibly be? To whom are you wishing? Audience unknown, destination devine? To say the least it is not a last minute thought because what if that wish really will come true? If wishes really do come true? Would you waste yours on some material thing? Only a fool would fretter away such a gift, such a chance, such an opportunity. Even skeptics must have a thought in their mind as they release that big birthday puff. A birthday wish can only be equated to wishing on a shooting star, which can prove even more exciting because its frequency, or even the very possibility of it ever occurring again that exact moment that you just may happen to be looking up, can never be determined, scheduled, or predicted making these wishes that get sent into the universe wishes of the moment wishes determined by circumstance, may be arguably be less significant. Some may say, to those inclined to believe in things larger than they, a wish may be a passive way to pray.

But the birthday wish may also hold this importance because of the day. Amazingly, somehow, however many years ago, on this very day, you were brought onto this earth, you breathed that very first breath that now is expelled again in the hopes that some fragment of a miracle might again occur.

So with this breath I wish for happiness, as I said, for as long as my mind allows me to recall. Prompted by this lesson taught, the key to a fulfilled life is happiness, is the memory of this scheduled release of hope through breath over flickering wax sticks of light quickly pressed through frosting to cake, as a way to celebrate me, my life, my being on earth - with them, to my being me. This thought is that of the cake, the celebration, the gathering, and the breath released the same moment as my repeated wish for happiness, to be happy. Why wish for this? Is it because I was unhappy? Because I did not have happiness? Or was it more simply, my life felt unfulfilled? What purpose did I have? What good did I serve?

The key to a fulfilled life is happiness, from this grows a memory. It is a memory of a breath filled with hope, not of regret or want. If the ultimate goal is happiness, happiness must have various levels because at that moment, with that breath was not the release of sorrow but that of the belief that what could then be defined as happiness was no where close to the level of fulfillment. My knowing, my unconscious knowing, that there was more to life than cakes and candles and brightly wrapped boxes of wants astounds me, so simplistic yet so complex. The pleasure derived from this day is just that, pleasure. Maybe happiness in knowing I am loved and pleasure in rich chocolate cake and unwrapping prizes, the need for the bread, the blood of life and the desire for the things that might make it better.

Can a thing bring happiness or is it just pleasure? Why is it the things that give us pleasure may be eliminated and yet eliminating those bringing us happiness are as essential as water itself?

Pure pleasure. Sustained happiness. Are those not oxymorons? Should it not be sustained pleasure and pure happiness? Could it be I have always known the key? That the struggle, the frustration, the pain were to get me where I need to be? The key to life is happiness. It does not come in a jar, in a can, a pill, or a drink. There is no phrase magical enough, no wish important enough, no star bright enough to bring happiness to one who’s life is unfulfilled.

The key, as the Dalai Lama told me, is to want what you have, to love who you are and to desire nothing.

Monday, March 12, 2007

Wednesday, March 07, 2007

Big HUGE Golf Ball Moon

My little wordsmith loves to say, "Big HUGE..."

Big HUGE golf ball moon.

Big HUGE boo boo on his belly.

Big HUGE cheese.

Charlie and the big HUGE golf ball moon. The full moon lies in the beach sky. Venus shines high over the water. Uncle Jon points out Orion's belt, sword, arms and a leg. My eyes go straight to the belt, find the sword, and then thoughts fleet to elsewhere.

The sun rises over Bayshore in the strawberry sky.

Big HUGE pain in the butt.

Bug HUGE sweet heart.

Big HUGE love of my life.

Perfect Love

All my life I’ve been waiting to meet you
Waiting to have you
Waiting to hold you

Now that you’re here –
I can’t get enough of you
Don’t want to spend a minute away from you

You sleep and I watch you
You breathe; I exhale…
Your smile wells my eyes with tears

My smile is made for you
My ears created to hear just you
I could spend forever with only you
-- Only you’d grow tired of that.

I’ll grow old thinking of you
Loving you, smelling you, hugging you
Holding you

I loved the thought of you
And love the flesh of you
Forever love you is what I’ll forever do.