Thursday, December 14, 2006

pro·cras·ti·nate - [proh-kras-tuh-neyt-] verb, -nat·ed, -nat·ing.

1. to defer action; delay: to procrastinate until an opportunity is lost.
2. to put off till another day or time; defer; delay.
[Origin: 1580–90; < L prōcrāstinātus (prōcrāstināre to put off until tomorrow) Based on the Random House Unabridged Dictionary, © Random House, Inc. 2006.

Procrastination, it defines me. Just the thought of tackling an insurmountable task spins me into a frenzy. It always has, at least since I can remember. "Why do today what you can put off until tomorrow?" has become my personal unspoken mantra.

First, I will think about the task at hand. Then, I think of all else that needs to be done before this can be done. For example, in college if I had a paper to write or an exam to study for, I would have to pick up any items laying around in the dorm room, and later the apartment, that were somewhere they didn't belong.

Put this in its place, put this in its place, put this in its place.

All the while walking around discovering new things that needed to be done. Change the air filter. Oh, take out the garbage. Empty the garbage cans, empty the refrigerator of any out-of-date pickles, relish, ketchup - yes! ketchup has an expiration date! Throw out dark green, slimey water in a bag that halfway stuck to the bottom of the crisper leaving striations of greens. How on earth could it have gotten like this? Oh well. Must clean the fridge. Huh, top of the fridge is awful dusty. Take it all down and dust, dust it all and put it all back up. Clean the counters, stove, microwave - oh, in the microwave, the fridge door, is that a spider web on the ceiling? Uh - bulb out - laundry room, change the bulb. Oh yeah, clothes in the dryer. Fluff for a few minutes. What was I doing? Oh yeah, kitchen.

Aaaaah! Kitchen clean. Hm.


Computer screen dusty. So's the keyboard...

As so it goes. Before I know it all the furniture has been moved around, I have brand new sheets on my bed, my dog is squeaky clean, I've showered and shaved with a new razor - because there is nothing better than egyptian cotton sheets straight from the dryer - and a perfectly clean, and hairless me - not to mention a sparkling new apartment.

2 a.m. Slide into bed. Mmmmmuuh! (My voiceless command for my truely loyal dog, Jake, to hop onto my bed and lay his sweet head on the pillow next to mine as I drift off to sleep listening to the sound of his breath slow as he drifts off to where he chases rabbits, I assume, and barks with his mouth closed, and runs laying down.


Wednesday, December 13, 2006

Believe in Cinderella

Believe in destiny, love at first sight, and happily ever after.

Through the eyes of a child, see the world.

Gaze with amazement at a shooting star. Toss penny wishes into fountains, touch the ocean with your toes, and wonder, Does it go on forever? Walk barefoot through the grass; roll down a towering hill. Eat sand. Sit nose to nose with a bug and talk. Catch a frog, fall in love, and know it will last forever. Read the Fairy Tale, and believe in Cinderella.

Through the eyes of a mother, see the child.

Gaze with amazement as he discovers a shooting star. Keep pennies in your purse and a blanket in your car. Walk slow; let go. Let the world reveal itself. From a distance, stand and listen to soft words spoken to make believe. Let nature be the teacher, but always lead the way.
Rediscover with your little one. Forget wrongdoings and forgive with tears still on your face.

Believe in destiny, love at first sight, and Cinderella.

See the world through the eyes of a child.

The first step

"If you cannot run with the big dogs, stay on the porch."

Friday, December 08, 2006

Tomorrow's never-will-bes

"Fight fire with fire and you'll be left with flames."

Anger to anger resolves nothing. Anger diffused proves success.

Fire plus fire equals flames which turn to ashes, smouldering masses, hot piles of yesterday's procrastinations and tomorrow's never-will-bes.

The Helm

"Anyone can be at the helm when the sea is calm."

Calm waters can create confidence in those who may not necessarily be the best behind the helm. It also may create complacency among those who are "the best." The sea is never "safe," to be completely trusted. Trouble may arise at the blink of an eye, separating the best from the rest.

(To continue his metaphor, translate it to apply today, to me, it means:)

Only the strong can withstand adversity. The weak will wither away. It goes along with the cliche, "What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger."

When I arrive at a point in my life, when I believe, I've gotten to my wit's end, that's when a change occurs, either something else goes wrong and I still prevail or the winds change and I begin to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Either way, I've survived. I'm strong. I need to not forget it. Because when I do, I am reminded again.