Migraine Miracle?

It may be too soon to tell but... I have not had a migraine since the 7th.  Today is the 17th.  And for me this is huge.  I average 3-4 sometimes 5 migraine days a week.

I don't even know what to do with myself!  It is great.

What changed?  I started physical therapy at Spaulding Rehab Clinic and I am doing my exercises religiously.  Things are moving, releasing, and my posture is changing.  All the damage done to my neck in the past is melting away.

And soon.

I will have my life back.

:)

My advice - if you get migraines - see a physical therapist who specializes in headaches.  They work your neck and something happens - something wonderful.  Isn't it worth a try?

Physical Therapy

Tampa did a world of good.  We saw friends, went to the beach, met new baby Lucy...  It was just what we needed.

Then I started physical therapy at Spaulding Rehab Hospital.  And?  I am hopeful.  My therapist Karen is great.  She thinks that my headaches are coming from the tightness in my neck from the numerous blows to the head I have had in the past 15 years.  Between car accidents, horse mishaps, and biking woes, there have been many.

But like I said, I am encouraged.  And feeling good. 

I am still having 3-4 headache days a week but I feel my neck and spine changing.  And I feel empowered.  Because I am working the change.  Every day - every two hours in some cases.

To top it all off - spring has sprung.  Finally!

Good, good news.

Greening Up

With morning comes another bleak walk on the Cod.  Less fog, but no less gray. 

Although now, the skies look promising - the day is brightening up. 


Yesterday's head pain did not grow into a migraine.  I am hoping the same goes for today.  Once again woke with an aching in my head that I have chosen to ignore because taking the triptans render me useless and retire me to bed - for the day.  So far so good...

Signs of Spring

This morning while waiting for the bus, Charlie and I were looking for signs of spring.  The thought was sparked by a homework assignment which we will complete later today.

The past two or three days have been gray and dismal with fog so thick that you wake up in a cloud; the driveway and surrounding areas are as wet as if rain has fallen, only it hasn't.  So perceiving spring doesn't seem likely - only, spring is on its way. 

It's all around us, in the little things.  And the more you look, the more you see.  Fresh tender leaves poking out of yesterday's dormant brown branches.  The greens of crocuses already three or four inches high. 

Daylight savings beckoned spring to come and it has.  Hurray.  Today, the Rude and I make our way down the beach.  And my head only hurts a little.  Here's hoping it burns off with the fog..

Dagnabit!

And again my head.

Penciled on tomorrow - gym

And that is my glass half full. 

Feign Fun

So the migraine went on and on this time.  What is usually three days, spanned five.  And swallowed a weekend.  We managed to have some fun - I feigned fun.  But Charlie and I got out and did stuff - that's what counts.

Today the haze has lifted.  I took the dog for a walk, a fast one.  My goal is to exercise at least five times a week.  Pre-migraines this would not have been a goal posted on a blog.  It would have been part of my lifestyle.  Because I used to be that girl.  I used to love to workout.  I was strong, and healthy, and dependable.  And then my body, well, and then things changed.

But things are looking up.  I am looking up.  I still get migraines 50% of the time - which SUCKS - but I am good.  I am changing my mindset.  Because I can. (...and suddenly Leann Rimes is singing in the back of my head in a yellowy sunlit, sparsly furnished, breezy room.)  Am I mixing music videos?

The moral of the story?  Nothing's perfect.  It's never gonna be.  All you gotta do is fake it till you make it.

Everybody will be much happier.  Who knows?  Before long maybe you'll drop the feign. 

(I must admit my brain is not quite up to par, but I would really like to get a post in today so ...
P-U-B-L-I-S-H ... )

Head Pain Day Three

Really... do just please go away - oh, pain in my head.  On the count of three: 1,2...

Rubber Gloves and Lidocaine Shampoo

If I put on rubber gloves and shampooed my head with lidocaine would I find relief?  Yesteday I had a migraine.  Another mind numbing migraine.  This morning I woke up iffy.  Iffy as to whether my migraine would stay away.  I am afraid to say, it's creeping back.

With my morning joe I gently rubbed my forehead, concentric circles between my eyebrow and my hair line - nearer my hair line - speaking my wish for the day, that it doesn't return today.  I already had to cancel meeting new friends yesterday, last night.  And just now cancelled today's hair appointment.  Color, fumes, hot air - on my head - uh UH.  Not today.  I fired a hairdresser for handling my head like a football.  And hired the one today for the exact opposite - when she dries your hair with the round brush it is like a folicle massage - but not today.  Today my head desires 100% Egyptain cotton sheets.  White.  Washed and dried without scent.

But then there is what I cannot cancel - tonight - my midterm exam.  My nauseous stomach is telling me to eat.  My head, to take that little triptan.  My neck and jaw, to get in bed.  But still - here I sit.  At my computer. My will to write deferring the necessary.  Unwilling to admit defeat, yet again.  But I suppose, here I must go... to the pill.  To the defeat.  To the bed.

The Migraine Discovery

My mother must talk to nearly everybody about the debilitating migraines I suffer because she is always feeding me migraine tips, most of which I have already heard - until recently. 

This someone shared something from her neurologist - of which I had not yet heard.  And I do a LOT of migraine research. I know about the trigeminal nerve and can feel it pulsing above my ear as a migraine spills into my face.  It's been explained to me, I've read about it, and had pictures drawn illustrating it.  The Botox migraine treatment is targeting just this.  I have not yet qualified for the Botox treatment, so in the meantime I seek other solutions.

Below is an illustration of the trigeminal nerve. 
Courtesy of Mayo Clinic

The discovery?  Capzasin No-Mess Applicator directly (and liberally) applied to carotid artery on the left side of neck. 

Below is an illustration of the internal and external carotid arteries.
Courtesy of Patrick J. Lynch, medical illustrator: Licenses.

The claim - by applying Capzasin to the carotid artery you are essentially stopping the migraine.

My findings - inconclusive.  I have attempted this three times.  The first time it was too late.  I already had the beginning signs - and more - of a migraine when she told me about the treatment.  She ran to the nearest CVS, got the stuff, and I soon applied it to my neck - LIBERALLY.  Maybe too liberally because from my ear lobe to my chest my skin glowed red.  Ultimately, attempt one failed and ended in a dose of Relpax.

On my second attempt, with the first attempt in mind, I sparingly applied the liquid, which did not work either.

And my third attempt - once again liberally - and perhaps applied too late also ended in a dose of Relpax.

Does this work?  I am not sure.  And I am not sure I am going to give it a fourth attempt.  But I thought I would share...in the interest of, well, sharing.

Copy Edit and the Glamour of Grammar

For my class I have been reading a book called, "The Glamour of Grammar," which seems to make people laugh (or at least snicker).  It is by Roy Peter Clark of the Poynter Institute in good old St. Pete, FL.  His references to places I know dearly makes me miss my town.

We head back in April - just for a week - but both of us are SOOO looking forward to HOME.  Hmmm.

The copy editing course I am taking is great.  I absolutely love the professor.  Over the past few days I have been transferring my hand written notes into word documents on my desktop.  It is my way of remembering what she has taught us so far.  Next week is midterm.  The following week - break.  Unfortunately I will have to miss a week to go to Tampa, but I will see if I can get the lecture notes.

Not much interesting to say today... Heading to the allergist for my initial consultation.  Just another avenue I am attempting in my desire to kill the migraine.  Had to fight my PCP to get the referral.  Why is it so hard to understand that a healthy person costs less than a sick one.  I am certain that ONCE we hit on the CAUSE, my migraines will decrease...and my life will get better.  Until then, I am going to fight for referrals because I matter and the way that I feel counts.

Hidden Treasure

On mornings that the weather and my head permits, Rudy and I make for the beach in search of hidden treasure.  Let's just call it broken glass with soulful sea chi.  The art is in the finding...mindful meditation.  Soothing.  And rewarding.

So these days, I fill my plate with treasures from the sea. 

Migraine Dilemma

I get migraines 50% of the time.  I don't know when I am going to get a migraine.  When I do get one, it usually lasts three days (although I have had them last only one day and one that stuck around for seven).  It's anyone's guess.  That's what the science of migraines seems to be - a big FAT guessing game.  Try this drug, try that drug, try some more drugs.  Enough!  I am sick of drugs.  And side effects.  And rebound headaches.  Really I am sick of headaches all together.

I gave up my life - for migraines. 

I left my house, my job, and my friends - for migraines.

I gave up chocolate.

Dairy.

When is enough enough?

I'd like my life back.

Please.

Copy Editing and Hope

Today is day one of my new copy editing course at Suffolk University.  Day One.  A New Beginning.

Unfortunately the course is super expensive.  A four-credit course at the university costs $2,000.  And that is before I buy books.  Somehow I feel I have mentioned this before.

But since I get migraines, and since I get them so frequently, the course seems like a good move.  I am hoping it gives me freedom.  Generally I am good about picking out errors, typos, inconsistencies but I am not as solid as I would like to be.

Enter copy editing course.

The problem - $$.

The solution - yet to be found, but I am working on it.

Since I already have my bachelor's degree financial aid is out.  What a bummer.  Hmm.  Thinking.  Thinking.  Thinking...

Goodbye Dairy

In an effort to beat the migraine, I will be saying goodbye to dairy.  So today I say farewell to 2011 and my good friend cheese. 

Adios, Sir Queso.  Perhaps it just wasn't meant to be...you will always be my guilty pleasure.

Well, so much for that.  Charlie and I are off to the movies - We Bought a Zoo.  No 3-D for us.  Though terribly disappointed that we missed Hugo.  Can you believe it is already out of the theaters?  We could take the ferry to the vineyard to see it but that just might be overkill.

Happy, safe NYE.

(New adventures?  Maybe.)

JE 48 The Fog Has Lifted

It has been four days since I've seen the sun.  The foghorn blaring day and night.  But the fog I am most relieved to see dissipate is that which settled in my mind.  I've had a migraine since Sunday - today is Thursday.  To be without clarity for that amount of time is disturbing. 

Not only does a migraine bring physical pain, but with it a shroud of sadness, an almost hopelessness. 

So much of my life has been stolen, and I want it back.  You can have the days gone by, no point in worring about them, but I want my future. 

I need direction, I feel as though I have tried everything.  In spite of my fear of needles I became a human pincushion in the hope of finding relief.  I've been to neurologist after neurologist.  Chiropractors. And natural medicine.  The problem being I don't feel well, enough days in a row to help myself feel well.

Classic case of catch 22.  It's easy to say, "well, I will just do it" when I am feeling good, it's when I feel as though someone is cleaning my brain with a pipecleaner that the motivation is low.  I just wish I could figure this out.

So that's my bring you down speech - sorry about that - but, this is me.  Headaches and all.  Am I more than my headaches?  Of course.  Am I limited by them?  Absolutely.  Is it fair that Charlie has a Mommy with headaches?  No way.  But as my mom used to like to remind me, "Life isn't fair."  Kind of a shitty mantra.  My retort, usually in my head, was "Life sucks and then you die."  But it isn't true.  Just look outside.  It is a beautiful, crisp clear day.  The sun is so bright and the sky is so blue and the rays of that sun in the bright blue sky warm my arm as I type.  So I am not without hope, in fact I am hopeful, hopeful that one day I don't have to plan to be unpredictable - that my fate will not be determined by migraines.

JE 46 Alice

Lewis Carroll used to get migraines.  Maybe that is why he made such fanciful stuff.  He had to get away.

I just did an internet search on migraines and Lewis Carroll and came up with some interesting stuff.  Maybe I won't delete my - oh my aching head - blog and actually start blogging on it.

Sent a quick note to The Daily Headache to say - I feel your pain.

I'd like to expound but it's my head that's doing that instead.

Off to acupuncture.  Sure would like to get back to yoga soon - back is getting better bit by bit.  (I will have to tell you about doctor nightmare at another time, but what it amounts to is I am PCP-less.  Thankfully I still have Brigham and Women's, the Faulkner, and the Headache Clinic).

JE 43 Sign

The next GWW prompt.  A bit about freewriting then this... "Sam wasn't sure if it was a wonderful sign or a sign of disaster but Sam knew..."

...

The instructions say to be free.  To write in a white heat.  There is nothing white heat about me today.  Typing one-handed on my HP Mini as it stands like a greeting card on my bed is about as white hot as it gets.  I am not ambulatory, nor am I upright.  Between steak knife stabs to the brain, words let themselves be written.  (And some don't - this is a second attempt at this post - the first lost in cyber space). 

But Sign does bring to mind something.  It is the name of my son's third imaginary friend; the first two being Humpty Dumpty and To Market.  While the first two seemingly juvenile names derived from nursery rhymes bring forth black and white checked memories, the third does not.  Sign is a witch.

A witch called Sign, which I thought was brilliant when he introduced her a few years ago.  He couldn't have been older than four.  I am sure I referenced it on his blog - Charlie Bean - though not sure where. 

Maybe I will read on to see if there is a more moderately paced prompt in which I can participate.

JE 42 Rollo and Legs

The Shriners Clowns.

That's the one.  The thing that happened within the past week that makes me buzz.  It has story written all over it.  And Charlie - the boy who was born to be a clown.  The mason connection with my dad.  The anniverary lunch.  Clown school.  Everything. 

And that's how it works.  Things happen.  They make sense.  Everything falls into place.

If you are lucky - you are aware, you pay attention.  You listen.  Things tell you stuff.  If you are not too busy.

I guess that is kind of what a migraine does to me - knocks me on my ass, makes me weak, then opens me up to the thought of something new.

Headaches have a pattern.  Skip the first part as I don't understand the triggers as it's more like chemistry, and go to the next: denial.  It is always, "No, this isn't going to be a migraine."  (Pop an allergy pill).  But after that it's usually down hill.  Fast. 

I was hoping the steroids I took for the back would help to "reset" my body, as the neurologist had suggested. I held out hope. 

Enough about my head.

I may have something here with the clowns.  I am going to go back to my GWW book and read to the next prompt and see where it takes me.

JE 23 Headache

It's hard to want to write with a headache.  Yesterday one built all day with every activity culminating in this morning's migraine and rescue medications which I try to avoid taking as they make me feel altogether unhuman.  So here I am in my zombie form after drugs, caffine, sugar, and more carbs.

I blog in a few places - yesterday was on my son's blog involving pictures and a brief description of the day's activities.

This week my one act play is due.  I have three days to finish.  You may have read it - unromantic.  I need to add stage directions and possibly rework scenes 2 and 4.  Or of course I could scrap it altogether.

But first - I need to feel better.  The thing about taking migraine medicine is that it makes you feel as though you are losing brain cells at an alarmingly fast rate - which in fact you probably are.  It makes language slow.  Not a good thing, especially if you fashion yourself a writer.

So for now I think I will go regain composure and some words.